Breakfast

Over the weekend, I wrote the most words I’ve written yet for my new project. I was thirteen words shy of four thousand. Four. Thousand. That puts me at slightly over thirteen thousand words in total. Thirteen. Thousand. Words. Thinking back to before I started the blog and got back to writing more regularly, writing more than eight hundred words was like drawing blood out of the stone, and any time I wrote anything substantial for my old project, I would end up deleting it the next day.

Upon reflection, I had to admit to myself that my old project isn’t ready for me – or maybe I’m not ready for it. I thought back to the other projects I wrote before that one, all about motherhood in some capacity. What did I know about motherhood at twenty or twenty-one? I’m no closer to knowing anything about it at twenty-seven, so why did I think I knew anything then? I have some complex thoughts about motherhood, and it’s best I work those out before trying to write about it with any authority.

Trying to carry on with the inspiration from the weekend, I will stick to writing about what I do know: writing exercises (that are not about motherhood).

A skill I’ve developed over the past four years is writing marketing copy, and it’s a skill I develop every day. In this week’s writing exercise, I try to combine that skill with storytelling. Will I succeed in causing some sort of feeling for the reader? Read on to find out…

This box of cereal won’t change your life.

Really, what box of cereal changes your life? It’s an understated food mostly associated with kids and morning plot lines in TV shows and movies. Some people don’t have time for breakfast, and their life really can’t be changed by a box of cereal. So really, this cereal won’t change your life.

This box of cereal is made of organic ingredients and there is a version that’s vegan, but it’s hard not to find a vegan option of pantry staples lately. It’s not like it’s hard to make a cereal vegan, really: we just subbed maple syrup for honey. It took away from the bottom line, sure, but that’s why you have to read the label – we’re putting the onus on our customer and made the differentiating feature so small, you have to work to find it, and if you spend money for us along the way, happy days. In that sense as well, this cereal won’t change your life.

This cereal is for those who have grown out of Trix, Froot Loops and Fruity Pebbles on the weekday but still keep a box for the odd weekend when they watch cartoons. This cereal is for those people who want to put minimal effort into starting their day, those who want a small win but a win nonetheless when it comes to getting their life together. For however fleeting a moment, this cereal will help you feel like you have your life together and set you off into your day with a pep in your step, but then by lunchtime you will be calling for an adultier adult when you have a grilled cheese with canned tomato soup. Also in this sense, this cereal won’t change your life.

When creating this cereal, we almost felt bad for those cereals we left behind as kids after we realized that they’re empty calories and only give you the illusion of starting your day the right way. On reflection, sugary balls of corn didn’t even taste that great, but throw in some color and a talking animal, and us kids were all over it. We have no talking animals promoting this cereal, but only because we knew our target audience was too smart for that. For you to believe this cereal will be the best start to your day and will pair perfectly with your morning caffeine, we felt we only needed to add a reminder that you need to take care of your insides now that you get a strain injury from sitting down at a desk all day. Because of this reality, our cereal tastes like all decently priced granola does and can be eaten with milk, yogurt or as a topping for a smoothie bowl. It tastes like any other granola, so in that aspect either, this cereal won’t change your life.

So at this point you’re wondering why bother buying this cereal if it won’t change your life. But do you really go out looking for something that will change your life when you go out looking for cereal? No, you don’t. You only go out looking for something that will keep you full until lunch so you don’t snack in between meals. You go out looking for a cereal that will taste better than something you make yourself (if you haven’t tried to make your own granola before, don’t; it takes hours to make a decent batch). You want a cereal that tastes like something you can’t make because it’s too difficult, a cereal you don’t want to go through the effort of making but is just there when you wake up. You want something that feels life-changing but is really just one more thing in your day.

Look no further than this cereal: It won’t change your life, but it does taste like what an adult eats.

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